


"We" because of Him

by fobfantasia



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Emotional Manipulation, Free Verse, He did not want to and he just let it happen after saying no before, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multiple Personalities, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Poetry, kind of?, partially?, that counts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 07:03:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5196674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fobfantasia/pseuds/fobfantasia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The legacy He left behind.<br/>The people He left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"We" because of Him

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote part of this at like midnight last night and I decided why not publish it with some tøp thrown in there

 We dream about the ones who used to love us

And we dream about the ones we used to love

We dream about the word we saw before falling asleep,

That cursed word that has ruined every connotation of it.

 

_Tyler remembered the hands, the smiles, the "love". It felt patient and meaningful, the touches. It all seemed so real._

_He was okay, he was growing, he was healing, he was- **oh**._

 

We wake up with heartaches

And clawed out skin,

We feel the sore throat from screaming when we're shaken awake.

We stand through the daytime thinking

"how could we be used?"

And our arms rise

And our heads hang

And our fingers twitch

And our toes curl and our muscles tense and our eyes roll back and our hair is pulled and our skulls are drilled and our back cracks and the vines grow and the voices yell and they beg to be shown

 

_He left._

_He used as He pleased, and when Tyler finally said "no, I'm not doing this anymore until I'm sure it's more than just fooling around."_

_He left._

_Blurryface first showed up as a comfort, as someone to keep Tyler from being alone with his thoughts. Soon, it ended up that Blurryface was the cause of them._

_Blurryface hurt Tyler, again and again, telling him that he was only useful for the occasional handjob._

_Blurryface ate Tyler alive._

_Blurryface used Tyler as he pleased, and he never said no. It wasn't like he was being "convinced" to blow him like He used to do; he was simply making him go back to the way he was before He came along._

 

We lie in bed,

awake and alone

wondering if anyone can find a sliver of sunlight

On a planet infinite miles from any star.

 

_Tyler chanted and chanted to a god he felt wasn't there, wished for help._

_He wanted to find real love, but who would fall in love with someone who's under control by something seemingly unstoppable?_

_He didn't want to be someone's puppet anymore, he was better than that._

_Right?_

 

We feel as if we are an asteroid belt,

Bits and pieces combining and orbiting

Protecting the body inside

But why should we protect it when it's tearing us apart?

 

_Tyler felt out of it, to say the least._

_He had learned to start controlling Blurryface, focusing on his family and putting faith in an invisible god that it will go away._

_Blurryface was there when Tyler was anxious, to make him seem cool and collected._

_Tyler was there to keep Blurryface in check, nothing else._

_Nothing else._

 

"It's not the body," we say,

"It's the minds."

With the hands digging into gray matter

And thorns from a stem piercing steel skin,

We are too small to protect, too small to counter, too small to win, too small too small too small toosmalltoosmalltoo _small_

 

_Tyler and Blurryface started working together, better than ever. Tyler befriended Blurryface, even though Blurryface never befriended Tyler._

_Blurryface still told Tyler the same things, over and over again. Sometimes he would be immune to it._

_Sometimes he wasn't._

 

_He sat awake in bed that night, numb but in so much pain. He wanted to scream, scream how much he hated the old Him._

 

But we can see the new Him beside us,

 

_Josh was his new savior._

 

 

breathing,

 

_Tyler's alive, Tyler's a person_

 

 

smiling,

 

_Tyler's happy_

 

touching,

 

_Tyler's not scared_

 

loving,

 

_Tyler knows it's not fooling around anymore_

 

approving,

 

_Josh knows that he can handle Blurryface, but even then, he's there to help_

 

waiting,

 

_Josh stops when Tyler says stop. Josh doesn't go any farther when Tyler says no, the first time. Josh doesn't try to "convince" him, doesn't say it'll "help with the stress," or "it'll be fun, you'll like it," or "don't be a prude"_

 

protecting,

 

_Josh took a punch from the old Him that one time they ran into Him, and dried Tyler's tears when He called him a "crazy prude only useful for sex"_

 

and Tyler decides that the screams and the words can be hidden beneath the bed as the monsters children fear for tonight.

 

"Peace will win, and Fear will lose,"

Josh whispers,

and  _we can finally sleep_.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my late night rants 
> 
> Stay street and stay alive |-/


End file.
